Your resume is the first impression you make on a company and determines whether you can land that all important interview. It’s essential to make sure everything on your resume is relevant to the role you’re applying for and that it’s triple-checked for any spelling mistakes!

Unfortunately, not everyone takes this advice. A thread on reddit posed the question: Bosses of Reddit, what’s the funniest thing you’ve read on a prospective employee’s CV?

The answers are a good indicator of what you definitely should not be doing as well as pointing out the dangers of typo’s, lying on your CV and not paying close attention to what email you’re sending the application from!

Take a look through the answers below and if you’re looking for a guide on constructing a great CV, http://acadoceo.com/how-to-write-an-interview-winning-resume/, or here if you need some awesome resume templates.

1/24

A friend of mine who was coming up for 20 at the time had only really worked in a hotel washing dishes since he was 16.The Funniest Resumes Hiring Managers Have Seen

He’d decided to look for a job elsewhere, somewhere he could get a wee career going, so to try and make his job sound fancier he stated he’d been working as an “underwater ceramics technician” for the past 4 years.

He got phoned up by the first company he handed a CV into and they offered him an interview because the guy said it was the best laugh he’d gotten all day reading CVs.

He got the job which was 3 years ago now and he’s been there since, seems a lot happier to be there.

afroguy10

2/24

Roles and responsibilities of previous job: Stalking the shelves. I envisioned him creeping between the aisles disguised as a bush.

Shakin_bacon

3/24

The most memorable I’ve had was some kid that had just graduated. The very last line on his cv was – “I know first hand that the importance of teamwork is often the difference between life and death.”

It was a part time retail position he was applying for..

rabbitwarrens

4/24

When I was a security supervisor for an inner-city school system, I saw a “resume” where a guy listed his job as a bouncer and under his skills he listed “capable of handlin big thangs”. I don’t know what the hell that was supposed to mean, but it was hilarious none the less.

riverine17

5/24

Under “special skills” was listed:

• Word, Excel
• Typing 60 WPM
• Rolling like a log

[deleted]

6/24

“Time Magazine Person of the Year, 2006” was listed under their accomplishments.

solaarphunk

7/24

Any special abilities or skills? “None. But I am strong and hansim(sic).”

Yakko_Warner_esq

8/24

I had a guy apply to be a financial advisor who was a former dynamite expert. He spelled dynamite three different ways. His email address was also something like “boomman.”

AgnesofthePunk

9/24

Stay-at-home mom listed as “domestic engineer”

kelstaney

10/24

“minor embezzlement” – reason for leaving last position

3lazycats

11/24

I was never a boss, but I once received a resume that was double sided. The front was about what you would expect, the back had all the videogames the dude had beaten.

roastbeeftacohat

12/24

Not a boss, but I am in HR and review resumes to give to bosses. I was looking at some for an open accounts payable position. I came across “DJ B-HIND’S” résumé. At first I thought wow, that’s a really strange name. No, he was actually a DJ and used that name on his résumé.

No accounting experience, but he said he can “account the numbers of people in da club”. There were other hilarious things under his skills like most fireball shots taken in 1 night. I showed it to my boss and he said to bring him in. Thought boss was crazy, but I called and we interviewed him the next day. Apparently, he really loved numbers and was serious about the job. Really articulate and smart guy. He was hired on the spot. Been with us for almost a year. One of our best hires.

wtfapkin

13/24

“Skilled at CD-ROM”

This was in 2012.

*Edit: the same resume also noted that the applicant could “sustain loud voice for up to 4 hours.” This was an office job.

htufford

14/24

What was your major in school?

“Eglish”

Also: Reason for leaving your last job?

“Got burned.”

Cindy_Lou_Who

15/24

My own Starbucks application makes me cringe thinking back, you have to say what your favourite Starbucks beverage is and why, I think I put ‘Eggnog Latte, because it’s rich, exclusive and great tasting..three things I hope to be!’

It would have been the best Blind Date answer

shutupHazel

16/24

” I have rated each of my skills from 1 to 10, where 1 is a very basic understanding, and 10 is Guru.

.NET: 11 ”

NibblyPig

17/24

I’m the manager of a multinational IT firms support and deployment team. I had one resume from a woman who had been in the field installing hard wired backbone systems. She listed “been electrocuted more then a dozen times”. I didn’t know how to take that.

BloodInMySaltStream

18/24

“Pharmaceutical sales representative” for 3 years.

The kid was still in high school…In all fairness he did sell the best weed…

0xD153A53

19/24

Application for super market: Morrisons

If we had to relocate you to another Store which Store could you move to?

Answer: Tesco or Asda

Riig

20/24

“As well as everything else, I am also very good looking” He was italian..

stjarnlax

21/24

I had a person come in and under the have you ever been arrested tab marked, yes. Then proceeded to say, “indecent exposure charge: i got really drunk and some friends and i mooned those horsey cops”

IDoLogistics

22/24

In language skills: “can write in multiple languages with Google Translate”

jebaw

23/24

Not me but my wife got something to the effect of “Objective: to shine like a bright star in the career galaxy.”

steelers828

24/24

The other week at my work my boss got sent a resume(basically a cv in aus). The person had obviously attached the wrong document. It went along the lines of: Pasta James Brown Cats Broom Lamp

LewisJDM

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