Your Job Title Will NEVER Be As Cool As These…

If you’ve used LinkedIn lately you might have noticed the influx of self-proclaimed Guru’s, Ninja’s & Evangelist’s trying to spice up the sound of their, more often than not, mediocre sounding job titles. I even stumbled across an ‘Accounting Ninja’ recently, also known as a financial manager trying to make their job title a little more sexy….. it didnt work! Stop it, numbers aren’t sexy.

The following people have been blessed with the best job titles you will ever see, they didn’t have to change theirs to glam it up a little, to turn something very ordinary into something extraordinary (sounding). They just win and no matter how many “Grand Master of Evangelist Ninja’s” you add to your own title… you still won’t be able to compete.

1) Bear Biologist and Paperfolder 

bear_biologist

“Hi there, i’m a Bear Biologist, Oh and part time paperfolder!!” Usually not two skills that go hand in hand, but this guy’s obviously a multi-tasker.

2) Bride Kidnapping Expert

bride_kidnapping_expert

I’m not sure where you train to do this…

3) Chief of Unicorn Division 

cjief_of_unicorns

– Unicorns. Enough said.

4) Head of Potatoes 

head_of_potatos

It’s a lot of responsibility, but someone’s got to do it…

5)  Director of Sandbags

director_of_sandbags

In the background the deputy sandbagger gazes forlornly at the man that’s held the job title he’s so ardently wanted all these years…

6) In charge of the big door

in_charge_of_the_big_door

Ludwig was delighted after his recent promotion from Little Door Supervisor.

7) Hotdog Choreographer

hotdog_choreographer

’cause they make a right mess of things when left to their own devices.

8) VP of infinite infinity

infinite_infinitey

Wait….what?!

9)  MILF Commander

milf_commander

Mother I’d like to follow!

10) Professional Snuggler

professional_snuggler

He gets paid! For snuggles!!

11) Writer / Wizard / Mall Santa / Rasputin Impersonator

rasputin_impersonator

Actually the multi-tasking award goes to this guy.

12) Space Lawyer

space_lawyer

“Have you been involved in a space accident that wasn’t your fault. SpaceLawyers4U get YOU the compensation YOU deserve!”

13) Smarties Expert

smarties_expert

There’s probably a few chocolate bars I could be considered an expert on too…

14) Suspicious fisherman

suspicious_fisherman

Well most of them are fairly dodgy looking characters to be fair.

What ridiculous/cool job titles have you come across?

Image Sources: Tumblr

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