Your Job Title Will NEVER Be As Cool As These…

If you’ve used LinkedIn lately you might have noticed the influx of self-proclaimed Guru’s, Ninja’s & Evangelist’s trying to spice up the sound of their, more often than not, mediocre sounding job titles. I even stumbled across an ‘Accounting Ninja’ recently, also known as a financial manager trying to make their job title a little more sexy….. it didnt work! Stop it, numbers aren’t sexy.

The following people have been blessed with the best job titles you will ever see, they didn’t have to change theirs to glam it up a little, to turn something very ordinary into something extraordinary (sounding). They just win and no matter how many “Grand Master of Evangelist Ninja’s” you add to your own title… you still won’t be able to compete.

1) Bear Biologist and Paperfolder 


“Hi there, i’m a Bear Biologist, Oh and part time paperfolder!!” Usually not two skills that go hand in hand, but this guy’s obviously a multi-tasker.

2) Bride Kidnapping Expert


I’m not sure where you train to do this…

3) Chief of Unicorn Division 


– Unicorns. Enough said.

4) Head of Potatoes 


It’s a lot of responsibility, but someone’s got to do it…

5)  Director of Sandbags


In the background the deputy sandbagger gazes forlornly at the man that’s held the job title he’s so ardently wanted all these years…

6) In charge of the big door


Ludwig was delighted after his recent promotion from Little Door Supervisor.

7) Hotdog Choreographer


’cause they make a right mess of things when left to their own devices.

8) VP of infinite infinity



9)  MILF Commander


Mother I’d like to follow!

10) Professional Snuggler


He gets paid! For snuggles!!

11) Writer / Wizard / Mall Santa / Rasputin Impersonator


Actually the multi-tasking award goes to this guy.

12) Space Lawyer


“Have you been involved in a space accident that wasn’t your fault. SpaceLawyers4U get YOU the compensation YOU deserve!”

13) Smarties Expert


There’s probably a few chocolate bars I could be considered an expert on too…

14) Suspicious fisherman


Well most of them are fairly dodgy looking characters to be fair.

What ridiculous/cool job titles have you come across?

Image Sources: Tumblr

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